Every real business can be pressure-tested by three questions.

One, why should a prospect meet you?
Two, why should a prospect choose to buy from you?
Three, why should a client refer you?

If you cannot answer those three questions clearly, consistently, and without defensiveness, you do not have a referral problem. You have a positioning problem.

Most professionals spend enormous energy on the second question. They refine their offer. They polish their proposals. They adjust pricing. They upgrade slide decks and websites and messaging.

Some think about the first question. They try to become “worth meeting” through branding, content, or social media visibility.

Almost no one designs their firm around the third question.

Why should a client refer you?

And yet that question forces clarity on the other two.

In Can I Borrow Your Car, I explain that referrals are not about enthusiasm. They are about risk. When someone introduces you to a relationship they value, they are lending you their car. The car represents their trust, their reputation, their social capital. They are allowing you to sit in the driver’s seat.

The bottleneck in referral growth is not talent.

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